You dwell in my utmost joy and desire
I can't help thinking of you night and day
not as an uncomfortable, upsetting obsession
but as the sweetest pillow I could ever have
to discharge heaviness, preoccupations, anxieties,
nightmares...
the pain that maybe I could never reach you out is devastating
exacerbating the void and the deep sense of loss
I've always carried with me.
An unquenched melancholy
and corrosive nostalgia.
Everything by now seems to be chilled between us
maybe for the guilt I have to not believe enough in you
although I'd wish it with all my strenght and hope.
It's such an assurdity!
Perhaps we've been waiting for too long,
the situation is precipitated
and neither of us knows what to do,
what's the best choice, the rightest one...
if you ask me where the instinct is finished,
you leave me speechless
as virtuality ends up to fade any sensation
even if you perfectly know it wouldn't ever be just sex!
Then, our careers that keep us distant
obliged to not be bound to anyone
and anything...
you said you'll have never allowed
the flame of this warming candle would dim...
that's what's happening instead
for one reason or another...
it's not just a matter of giving up
but if it's still a reciprocated love
against all odds.
what matters in life the most?
the dreams or the reality?
just words and notes,
the importance of the emotions...
even among thousand doubts...
maybe the truth is in the middle.
We've tortured enough ourselves!
