What truly matters in life?

 

You dwell in my utmost joy and desire

I can't help thinking of you night and day

not as an uncomfortable, upsetting obsession

but as the sweetest pillow I could ever have

to discharge heaviness, preoccupations, anxieties,

nightmares...

the pain that maybe I could never reach you out is devastating

exacerbating the void and the deep sense of loss 

I've always carried with me.

An unquenched melancholy

and corrosive nostalgia.

Everything by now seems to be chilled between us

maybe for the guilt I have to not believe enough in you

although I'd wish it with all my strenght and hope.

It's such an assurdity!

Perhaps we've been waiting for too long,

the situation is precipitated

and neither of us knows what to do,

what's the best choice, the rightest one...

if you ask me where the instinct is finished,

you leave me speechless

as virtuality ends up to fade any sensation

even if you perfectly know it wouldn't ever be just sex!

Then, our careers that keep us distant

obliged to not be bound to anyone

and anything...

you said you'll have never allowed

the flame of this warming candle would dim...

that's what's happening instead

for one reason or another...

it's not just a matter of giving up

but if it's still a reciprocated love

against all odds.

what matters in life the most?

the dreams or the reality?

just words and notes,

the importance of the emotions...

even among thousand doubts...

maybe the truth is in the middle.

We've tortured enough ourselves!