Saturday, January 3, 2026

Beyond the stoneyards



 After all, if you want to leave me

I have nothing to blame you.

I will fly away, anyway,

like a bird,

with a burden leaning heavy on its neck....

perhaps I'll be strong enough,

proud of my madness, no strings...

what I believed in was some kind of fusion

or maybe a mirror of who I am...

in my bucket nothing more than gifts, symbols, or palliatives

to golden our moments...

I know you...

I'm identical to you...

wrinkles as tearing scars...

any hope sometimes, 

just luggage ready to go.

I have no certainty...

even about you,

and I don't understand the trickling games of life,

but maybe we have found 

our fucking, awful shit in a redemption,

out of sullen dungeons

and dejected graveyards,

beyond stale, rotten scaffoldings of a freedom someone tries to steal us,

and hovering over  

structured regimes of imperant falsities.

One soul in two bodies.

Let's destroy them

and plant stars and stripes flags...

never alone, someone says...

this is the knot.

I've sunk...

deep inside my freaking standstill

or maybe the afterworlds of us.

It would be better not thinking too much,

fully seizing the moment...

Candlelight perspectives?

they are in our imagination,

not always in our command...

Let's everything, liquidly, boozingly, outflows...


Wednesday, December 31, 2025

Mal de vivre



Do you guess there's something more important than me?
today it's time for joy, for feast, for happiness...
I have nothing to celebrate....
just voices invading my frail mind
jerking off by paranoid and lust
waiting for the right moment of pleasure
and trees to cut off
and skyscrapers to climb.
you're my strenght, my wisdom
I have never had.
you're digging deep inside my soul
maybe hoping to rescue me or my petals!
scrambling in pieces
we don't find a dustman
to embrace our gruesome rubbles...
and we go astray
we pail around
in search of a spark of bright escape...
I don't know the conclusions,
just the starts or restarts...
having to have you?
feelings go mad...
the sky is still dark this morning,
sympathetically.
I don't need the nth illusion
but intimate fusion
or a numbness of passion
and nothing else to think about!
I feel an euthanasia pain.
Mal de vivre.
I'll go out soon.
Or maybe I'm already gone. 

Monday, December 15, 2025

Figli della notte/ Sons of darkness





Avrei voluto poggiare la mia testa sul tuo petto, cuore mio, 
stanotte,
ed essere incatenata in un tuo forte abbraccio
per non farmi volare ancora una volta via.
Non tornerà più il passato, amore,
una serie di velleità nascoste e parole non dette,
un'afonia del cuore e un'anima obnubilata,
estraniata.
Io e tu una cosa sola,
pulsione repressa,
come un delirio erotico.
Una rosa porpora e nera
come le tue labbra
che tremano di passione...
La legge del desiderio e la fretta dell'istante...
come Icaro scioglie le sue ali al sole
noi viviamo la notte, il regno del mistero,
come una culla,
senza vincitori né vinti,
in un'anestesia che ci aliena dal mondo e rapisce il nostro istinto
dove noi siamo noi
e tutto l'universo intorno cade...così distante,
così vacuo...anzi vuoto.
Siamo carne e sangue e l'anima chissà...
Tigri nelle macchine che celano vulnerabilità proibite
e chi si arrende è fuori.
Estromessi dal cemento, agogniamo a qualche bucolica demistificazione.
Natura umana violentata,
estrapolata, sguinzagliata, mercificata.
Vorrei fermare l'oggi
per rivivere ancora un giorno in più un'emozione crescente
in cui tutto diventa alchimia,
scrollandoci di dosso le futilità stanche
di un mondo che ha perso ogni speranza,
e in cui ogni dolore svanisce,
in una droga che i nostri odori fondono e, coi noi brividi, fremono.




I'd have liked leaning my head on your chest, my sweetheart, 
tonight,
and being chained in a strong hug of yours
to not make me fly away once again.
The past will never come back, my love,
a bundle of hidden velleities and never said words,
an aphonia of the heart and an obnubilated soul,
estranged.
You and I, just one thing,
repressed pulsion
as an erotic raving.
A purple and black rose
as your lips
that tremble of passion...
the law of desire and the rush of the ticking moment
just like Icarus melt his wings under the sun
we live the night, the kingdom of mystery,
as a cradle,
with neither winners nor losers,
in an anesthesia that alienate us from the world and cut off our istinct
where we are just us
and all the universe around falls out...so distant,
 so vain...actually, void.
We are flesh and blood and who knows about the soul...
Tigers in the machines that conceal forbidden vulnerabilities
and who gives up is sidelined.
Ejected by the cement, we crave for some bucolic demystification.
Raped human nature,
pulled out, unleashed, commodified.
I'd like stopping the nowhere
to live again one more day a rising emotion
where all becomes alchemy,
shrugging off from us the weary futilities
in a world that has lost every hope,
and in which every pain vanishes,
in a drug that our smells merge and, along with our shiverings, quiver.







Saturday, September 20, 2025

What truly matters in life?

 


You dwell in my utmost joy and desire

I can't help thinking of you night and day

not as an uncomfortable, upsetting obsession

but as the sweetest pillow I could ever have

to discharge heaviness, preoccupations, anxieties,

nightmares...

the pain that maybe I could never reach you out is devastating

exacerbating the void and the deep sense of loss 

I've always carried with me.

An unquenched melancholy

and corrosive nostalgia.

Everything by now seems to be chilled between us

maybe for the guilt I have to not believe enough in you

although I'd wish it with all my strenght and hope.

It's such an assurdity!

Perhaps we've been waiting for too long,

the situation is precipitated

and neither of us knows what to do,

what's the best choice, the rightest one...

if you ask me where the instinct is finished,

you leave me speechless

as virtuality ends up to fade any sensation

even if you perfectly know it wouldn't ever be just sex!

Then, our careers that keep us distant

obliged to not be bound to anyone

and anything...

you said you'll have never allowed

the flame of this warming candle would dim...

that's what's happening instead

for one reason or another...

it's not just a matter of giving up

but if it's still a reciprocated love

against all odds.

what matters most in life?

dreams or reality?

just words and notes,

the importance of emotions...

even among thousands doubts...

maybe the truth is in the middle.

We've tortured enough ourselves!

Friday, September 5, 2025

where should we go?

You're my sexual wanting and my prayer

the misticity, broken out in pieces,

my destruction and my life,

never a beginning but just my end,

finally losing my mind

and being kidnapped by a never denied passion...

you dissacrate everything

you're the reason I've chosen to lose myself forever...

joy and death

I gave you all that I could

and you gave it to me too...

we lost ourselves

just to find us again...

no matters what people say

nobody could understand it 

and for what we feel inside

we have just paid out enough...or maybe...never enough...

we have to fight hard to be as we are,

for our difference,

for our ribelliousness,

for our lack of conformity...

you dont respect anyone...

neither I, because anyone deserve it

and it's hurting---still it is...

my scars never stop blooding...

I could never conceive love without pain

because the search of happiness is just an illusion,

something unreal...

why do we always have a smile on our faces?

passion is all that matters

and passion is dark

and passion burns...like loneliness...

we'll go on... where?

Is my home where or wherever I am?  





Sunday, June 29, 2025

Enigma

                                        

And I find myself alone,

never as I would like to be,

with or without you

somehow

beyond the cheerfulness, 

and the nibbled and shy feelings

never empty of a bitter aftertaste,

to not consume, to not be able to love.

the mystic sense lacks, that I'm sure dwell in each of us,

that has united us a long time ago and I could never forget...

the way of the vice or of the wisdom?

I just know that I will never forget you.

You're unforgettable and transpassing

a hurricane in my life

so boring but more or less stable.

would you say stable?

 I just know that I always drink beyond any measures

if it is the price that I have to pay for my freedom...

freedom from the charlatans,

freedom of the lost time

freedom from the subjugations....

when I know that it's enough just one drop of your love

to delete everything.

I loved you, I hated you, I felt lost but I 've found you again

and you are the greatest happiness for me.

I  don't promise you eternal love,

 but I  can always offer to you my heart

and I've  never deny to you this,

if you want it, as you have always reject it in a loo.

 I've never been a star, worst a pornostar, no more a model. 

I'm a never grown child

and I can stand the security belts,

they bore me.

With you I feel the shiverings of the risk,

with you I'd like to do thousands of things

and I don't know from where to start...

making up the time that has relentlessly changed us...

I don't wanna by subject to a whim of a man, 

I'm not a game,

I am good anyway

I feel good with you.

Of course the fire's flames are very distant from us,

maybe you're not still ready

I  don't know what you really want

if I am just a body

I've failed since the start

if you wanna amuse yourself maybe not

even if you've never had female friends.

so, I'm just a pain in the ass.

if you want to, I get out of the scene.

I don't understand you. that's all. feel your heart. stay in contact with yourself.

I've not been having a diamond in my heart for a long time 

but I would have loved you anyway.